A Little Purple Angel

              

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward". Psalm 127:3 .

Being born as a Christian this was what I heard all the time and I always wanted to have children and have a family of my own. Or rather every Indian girl was taught from childhood that she was born to raise her own family someday.

I was no different. But things changed for me after marriage and when I suffered two recurrent miscarriages. I thought I was the cursed one and was never going to have any babies of my own. I was completely heartbroken searching the internet for solutions, reducing my weight, trying a different diet, going to fertility doctors, madly charting my dates and taking temperatures and worrying everybody around me about my problem. My husband was fed up with me and he kept saying have patience probably it was not the right time but I was too hard headed and overcome by grief to listen to him. I was one big mess. Amidst all this I did pray, I prayed every day I asked why do you have to do this to me what wrong have I done why I can’t I have children of my own?

My prays to god were typical Indian movie style. If you have seen Hindi or Tamil movies whenever the hero is in distress the mother/wife/girlfriend rushes into the temple/churches and questions god? What wrong have I done why are you doing this to me? I haven’t harmed anyone! I was doing the same every single day I was getting frustrated. While in Los Angeles my husband and I attended a Christian retreat conducted by Divine retreat centre- Delhi. It was when I was listening to Fr Mathew Naickomparambil I realised that I was doing everything wrong. I forgot the basic verse, the song that I have been taught in Sunday school “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” – Mathew 7.7”

I was not asking but complaining and proving my worth I don’t need to do that HE knows who I am. That day I realized my mistake with a clear heart and mind I gave thanks for all that he has done, I asked for forgiveness and asked him to bless us with a child. And exactly a week later we saw two pink lines on a pregnancy test once again. It was the biggest miracle for me. Our 10 month journey was the most difficult filled with uncertainties and fear of losing another child. And a zillion prayers from friends and family and some of the people who we have never even met prayed for us. But god knew what’s best for us in a foreign land with the best doctor and the best medical facility that anyone could get and more over the most appropriate time he blessed us with a little purple angel (yes she was born purple) our daughter Adhya.

Adhya in Malayalam means ‘first born” it’s derived from the Hebrew word “adah” meaning adornment and in Sanskrit it means “creator “. She is truly an adornment to our family and angel who taught me how to pray. And quite coincidentally her favourite colour is purple although the pink pressure does get her sometimes purple remains to be her favourite. This little purple angel that I got at the end of my 39 weeks and 2 days is now walking, talking, running around and playing with her little brother.

Since she came into our lives, everything has changed. She is the most precious gift, I am just happy to be around her and she is making me so happy just by being around. As I have said earlier in this space she is one huge bundle of personality, charm, mischief and she has brought immense joy and love into our lives. And not a day passes by without me giving thanks because there is one to whom we ought to give thanks, but perhaps even more so, there is one who will receive our thanks.